The Bachelor Episode 1 Recap *SPOILERS*

Is there a better feeling than having one of your favorite TV shows come back? I think not. The Bachelor kicked off on Monday night with the one and only Pilot Pete and wow....are we in for a good season. Since the episode was three hours long, this blog will be too. Just kidding. Kind of...but not really. Let's dive in.

The episode starts with ABC giving us a look into what we can expect this season: some kind of wild twist right before the final rose ceremony, and Pilot Pete basically swapping spit with every contestant, gotta love it. We also see Peter's mom hysterically crying saying "Don't let her go." If there's anything I've learned about the Weber family, it's that they're full of love and a lot of tears. The season is obviously going to put a lot of focus on the fact that Peter is a pilot, and if you didn't already know that, you will within the first 2 minutes of the episode. The scene of Peter walking out to his little plane in the sunset? Beautiful, just beautiful. Peter has mentioned before that he grew up right down the street from the Bachelor mansion and by the looks of it, I think it's safe to assume Chris Harrison just picked him up on his way in and dropped him off at the door, like a proud dad who knows his son is about to date 30 women at once. Pete says he's looking for a girl that has a kind, sweet heart so let's meet our contestants....

First up, is Alexa. A 27-year-old caregiver/esthetician from Chicago. She wastes no time in letting you know that she's all about waxing any part of the body which she had to of mentioned so she could line up her "waxing is a lot like love, you have to bare it all" analogy. Next up is Hannah Ann, who I have already declared my enemy this season. She's a 23-year-old model from Tennessee who wants you to know that she's "just a normal girl" ...and probably the villain. She says her dad talks about Peter like he already knows him, how cute. Now is my girl, Tammy. Tammy is a 24-year-old house flipper from Syracuse, NY and she is aggressive. Maybe a little too aggressive, but that's why I like her. Another girl that I like is Victoria P who is a 27-year-old nurse from Louisiana. Victoria P shares that she basically raised her little sister on her own because her dad passed away at a young age, and her mom was an addict. To lighten the mood, she ends her little video introduction letting us know that her mom is now sober as they're seen baking cookies together. Now that, is actually cute. And now for Kelley, a 27-year-old attorney who is also from Chicago. Kelley has an advantage because she confesses that she has already met Peter. Apparently she was in California for a wedding that just so happened to be in the same hotel as Peter's 10-year-reunion which was just the sign she needed to go on the show. We meet Madison next. A 23-year-old Foster Parent Recruiter from Alabama, who seems like she peaked in High School. Of all the things she could tell you about herself, she wants you to know about her High School basketball accomplishments which is kind of a weird flex, but alright. Next is Maurissa, a 23-year-old Patient Care Coordinator from Atlanta. She loves making others feel great about themselves because she knows what it's like to struggle with self love. Thank god Maurissa was the last contestant to get a little video package or else this would have been a 24-hour episode. Next is the cheesy limo entrances.

First of all, Pilot Pete in his tuxedo? I dig it. Second of all, these limo entrances make me extremely uncomfortable. I could go over each and every entrance, but we'd be here for days. The one limo entrance I will touch on a little bit is the last, and certainly least- Hannah Brown. That's right. The Bachelorette that chose Jed, or as I like to call him, balloon head Jed, over Peter and Tyler C has decided to show up on Peter's big night. Hannah Brown is officially that ex that knows you're getting over them, so they show back up to wreck havoc in your life once again. She claims she's only there to return his wing pin, but unfortunately that's not the case...we'll get back to that.

Once all the girls have entered the mansion, Peter struts on in to give his speech about what an incredible journey they're about to embark on. Now I expected to see a lot of girls fighting for attention while shedding a lot of tears, but what I didn't expect to see was Pilot Pete playing tonsil hockey with almost every contestant on night one...but here we are. Peter has 30 women to talk to in a limited amount of time before he has to go right into a rose ceremony and immediately send home several contestants. These women are not only out for Peter's heart, but they're also out for blood. It's funny to watch them go from being so friendly and interactive with each other, to suddenly fighting for Peter's attention. I get that in order to get your one-on-one time you have to step on people's toes and pull the famous "Can I steal Peter for a minute" card, but what I don't understand is why NOBODY says no. If I was a contestant and I finally got my moment to sit down and chat with the Bachelor, you better believe that when another contestant interrupts mid-convo to "steal him for a minute", I'm telling you to kick rocks and wait your turn. I wish someone said that to Hannah Ann who interrupted not once, not twice, but THREE times. The most annoying part? She ends up getting the impression rose. You know who else got the impression rose? Luke P....enough said. The rose ceremony quickly approached, which brought on a lot of tears. I feel like there was so much tension in that room that I probably could've cut through my TV screen. Once it was all said and done, 8 contestants were outta there. Ironically enough, 3 out of those 8 were all 3 flight attendants. See ya never, ladies.

The first group date put several contestants through their version of flight school. They learned aviation terms, got spun around on what I think is called a gyroscope, and then competed in an obstacle course. Things weren't looking too good for my girl, Victoria P. and the next scene honestly made me laugh. Victoria P. shares what Bachelor producers portrayed as her most traumatic life event, puking on the teacup ride. She was absolutely petrified of getting on to this spinning contraption, but put on her big girl pants and strapped on in. She immediately got off and ran to the bathroom to vomit, which brought on another scene that made me laugh. Peter, being the gentleman that he is, went to check on her and bring her a water bottle but you would've thought he just pulled her out of a burning building and saved her life. Victoria P says what Peter did was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her....which honestly made me kind of sad, but also laugh. The group date ended with a little bit of controversy, and a nice plane ride into the sunset. Kelley, cheating her way to the finish line, was thrilled to be Peter's co-pilot for the night. The others? Not so much.

The rest of the ladies were expecting to get invited on another group date, but instead Madison got a one-on-one. Maybe she didn't peak in High School? Who knows. What I do know is that I actually do like Madison. However, this date was weird. We already know Peter is a big family guy, but I didn't expect Madison to be meeting the ENTIRE family in the first episode. Peter's parents were coincidentally enough having a vow renewal ceremony because doesn't everyone do that at 33 years? Random. Cute, but still random. I feel like this would be very intimidating to meet someone's entire family before you really even know anything about them, but Madison seemed to fit right in. She even caught the bouquet from his mom, no pressure though. They ended their date with a romantic candlelit dinner, where Madison confessed that she's already caught the feelies for Pilot Pete, followed by a little dance party.

The episode ended with what was supposed to be another group date, but quickly turned into the Hannah Brown show. The ladies arrive to the date and are told by Peter that he has no idea what they're doing because he invited a close friend who knows him very well *cue the eye roll* to host the date. Big mistake. HUGE. The former Bachelorette, Hannah Brown, steps into the spotlight on stage. She starts telling the most CRINGE WORTHY story of all time, the story of her and Peter and their infamous night in the windmill. Talk about overkill. The plan was for the ladies to then jump on stage and share an intimate experience of their own. The date takes a quick turn when Hannah goes backstage and just crumbles into a million pieces. Peter, being the nice guy that he is, goes to check on her to see if she is okay. If you didn't already know, Peter finished third in Hannah's season of The Bachelorette. Her final three contestants consisted of Peter, Tyler C, and Balloon Head Jed. She booted Peter, then Tyler, then got engaged to Jed who happened to have a secret girlfriend back home. Once the news broke about Jed's secret girlfriend that he had all along, him and Hannah called it quits. Hannah then turned around and publicly asked Tyler on a date. It didn't take long for Tyler to be photographed doing the walk of shame out of Hannah's apartment, but it also didn't take long after that for him to start dating Gigi Hadid...what a bummer for Hannah. So now, here she is, trying to make Pilot Pete her third option. If there's anything I know, it's that Pilot Pete is NOT third option material and I am personally offended she thinks otherwise. The episode ends with quite the cliffhanger- Peter inviting Hannah to come to the mansion and be a contestant on the show. The only thing worse than Hannah Brown coming back onto the show is the mascara she was wearing. Now we have to wait until MONDAY to find out what her decision is.......fingers crossed that this is the last we see of her.

I'm not gonna lie, this recap blog sounded like a good idea until I realized how much stuff there was to cover in this one episode. So, if you've made it this far then you're the real MVP. I absolutely love talking Bachelor and would love to hear your thoughts on this recap and this episode! Shoot me a message on Instagram or Twitter (@detroitciara) and let me know if at any point of this blog, you fell asleep.